Ouija Log – 9/9

Reminder that tonight is Paranormal Psaturday. The first three ticket holders to show Jeff a convincing photograph or smartphone video clip of authentic-looking paranormal activity in their homes will be given a $10.00 Starbucks gift certificate. The other usual prizes will again be given out randomly, including a free inept dream interpretation session with Jeffrey Stanley, and, if you believe your is haunted, a free in-home ouija board session. I am magnet for ghosts, angels and demons so if they’re there I’ll be able to chat them up. DISCLAIMER: please note that I am not an exorcist. Spirits may remain in your home and may become pissed. Objects may spontaneously catch fire and pets may become temporarily possessed. Tickets and full details.

My Entrance to Hell at the Blue Grotto.

There was a lot of static on the lines last night. We couldn’t get much of anything from the Ouija board — and especially not That Person — despite switching volunteers. The most we got was MOWNLALN. And it went to the number 8 a lot. If this means anything to anyone let me know.

If you really want to squeeze out an interpretation we can say it was trying to spell MOWN LAWN which had happened an hour earlier upstairs at exactly 8:00pm. That’s precisely when it ended in order to not disturb my show. And for what it’s worth artist and Blue Grotto creator Randy Dalton had “mown” it.

So maybe the spirit was showing off that it indeed lives at the CEC the way FRA said s/he did in the first Ouija session on 9/7 (transcript) by saying “the lawn had been mown by 8.”  Maybe that was supposed to impress or frighten us but if so, it failed.  Well, let’s see you try and interpret a bunch of gibberish.

Post-crypt: One of the two Ouija volunteers has posted on Facebook that, “My lawn was just mown, and guess how many times I had to empty the bag? That’s right, 8. Coincidence? You be the judge.”

Post Post-crypt: Reminder that tonight is Paranormal Psaturday. The first three ticket holders to show me a convincing photograph or smartphone video clip of authentic-looking paranormal activity in their homes will be given a $10.00 Starbucks gift certificate.  The other usual prizes will again be given out randomly, including a free inept dream interpretation session with me, and, if you believe your is haunted, a free in-home ouija board session. I am magnet for ghosts, angels and demons so if they’re there I’ll be able to chat them up. DISCLAIMER: please note that I am not an exorcist. Spirits may remain in your home and may become pissed. Objects may spontaneously catch fire and pets may become temporarily possessed. Tickets and full details.
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Ouija Log – 9/8/11

Last night’s performance of Beautiful Zion: A Book of the Dead went well. The audience was small so I could bring the action to even closer proximity to them, making the show as intimate as possible.

A Facebook message from one of the Ouija volunteers today sez, “Another night, another great Fringe show. “Beautiful Zion: Book of the Dead. ” Funny, emotional, brave, spooky – what more can you ask for?…Interesting. I’m curious to know what kind of being it was, if it wasn’t human…”

A message from the 2nd Ouija volunteer sed, “Congrats on the success. It was the most entertaining and compelling one man show we’ve seen in a very long time. You created a real event, and it was such an experience. I’m going to cite it to my [theatre] students in class tomorrow morning. The Ouija board thing did freak me out a bit. Shalee meant something to me, as hard as I’m trying not to apply overly convenient interpretations.”

Shalee? Not human? What in Hell are they talking about? Here’s their Ouija transcript:

QUESTIONER: What is your name?

(the planchette was moving extremely slowly; we tried switching in a new volunteer but there was still a lot of static on the lines; in the interest of time I began jokingly hurrying the spirit along — “okay, pick it up, we’ve got a show to do,” etc. — and it seemed to respond by talking in shorthand)

SPIRIT (or subconscious ideomotor impulse depending on your beliefs): SHALEE

JEFF: Okay, that’s definitely not who we’re looking for.

QUESTIONER (to Jeff): Sorry.

JEFF: No worries. Keep going.

QUESTIONER: Unusual name. Are you human?

JEFF: It’s creeping toward NO, definitely not YES, so I’ll take that as a NO.

QUESTIONER: What are you?

SPIRIT: DK (then it comes to a full stop)

QUESTIONER: DK?

JEFF: Short for DON’T KNOW?

(the planchette starts moving pointedly toward YES)

JEFF: Okay, sorry to hurry things along, Shalee, but we’ve gotta wrap this up. Do you know what’s taped to back of the grave photo hanging in the Blue Grotto?

SPIRIT: NO

The Ouija session was again fun but I still didn’t get what I came for, so I had to again end the show with the nuclear option. Come tonight and find out what that means. Full details and ticket info. And don’t forget it’s FREEMASONRY FRIDAY. The first three ticket holders to discretely show Jeff their Masonic rings or other authentic Masonic logo jewelry in secret before the show will secretly be given a $10.00 Starbucks gift certificate. Don’t try to pull a fast one — I know my Masonic jewelry.

Last night’s performance of Beautiful Zion: A Book of the Dead went well. The audience was small so I could bring the action to even closer proximity to them, making the show as intimate as possible.

A Facebook message from one of the Ouija volunteers today sez, “Another night, another great Fringe show. Beautiful Zion: Book of the Dead. Funny, emotional, brave, spooky – what more can you ask for?” And as for the entity we contacted on the Ouija board, “I’m curious to know what kind of being it was, if it wasn’t human…” (see below).

A message today from the 2nd Ouija volunteer sed, “Congrats on the success.  It was the most entertaining and compelling one man show we’ve seen in a very long time.  You created a real event, and it was such an experience. I’m going to cite it to my [undergrad theatre] students in class tomorrow morning. The Ouija board thing did freak me out a bit. ‘Shalee’ meant something to me, as hard as I’m trying not to apply overly convenient  interpretations.”

Shalee? Not human? What in Hell are they talking about?  Here’s their Ouija transcript:

QUESTIONER: What is your name?

(the planchette was moving extremely slowly; we tried switching in a new volunteer but there was still a lot of static on the lines; in the interest of time I began jokingly hurrying the spirit along — “okay, pick it up, we’ve got a show to do,” etc. —  and it seemed to respond by talking in shorthand)

SPIRIT (or subconscious ideomotor impulse depending on your beliefs): SHALEE

JEFF:  Okay, that’s definitely not who we’re looking for.

QUESTIONER (to Jeff): Sorry.

JEFF:  No worries.  Keep talking to Shalee.

QUESTIONER (to Shalee):  Unusual name. Are you human?

JEFF: It’s creeping toward NO, definitely not YES, so let’s take that as a NO or we’ll be here all night.

QUESTIONER:  What are you?

SPIRIT: DK (then it comes to a full stop)

QUESTIONER: DK?

JEFF:  Short for DON’T KNOW.

(the planchette starts moving pointedly toward YES)

JEFF: Okay, so Shalee doesn’t know whether he/she is human. We’d love to know more but we’ve gotta wrap this up. Perhaps we can speak with you more later. Last question: do you know what’s taped to back of the grave photo hanging in the Blue Grotto?

SPIRIT: NO

JEFF: Big round of applause for Shalee! You may return to your seats.

BTW a quick Google search this morning showed that Shalee as a girl’s name is a variant of the South Asian name Shaila (Hindi), and the meaning of Shalee is “river”.   However, I then received the above message from the Ouija volunteer saying the name had a personal resonance for him but he didn’t elaborate.  Perhaps that person will come forward with more info later.

This Ouija session overall  was very different than the previous evening’s but I still didn’t get what I came for, so I had to again end the show with the nuclear option.  Come tonight and find out what that means.   Full details and ticket info. And don’t forget it’s FREEMASONRY FRIDAY.  The first three ticket holders to discretely show Jeff their Masonic rings or other authentic Masonic logo jewelry in secret before the show will secretly be given a $10.00 Starbucks gift certificate. Don’t try to pull a fast one — I know my Masonic jewelry.

Ouija Log – 9/7/11

Last night’s premiere performance of Beautiful Zion: A Book of the Dead went extremely well but rather than give you a blow by blow of how I think I performed and how I worked the incredibly drunk audience member right into the show’s primary theme by getting him drunker, I’ll cut to the chase and tell you what you really want to know: did the 3 audience volunteers contact anyone on the Ouija Board in the Blue Grotto’s Entrance to Hell room last night?

My 1917 original William Fuld Ouija Board (pre-Parker Bros.) is an integral part of the show.

Last night’s premiere performance of Beautiful Zion: A Book of the Dead went extremely well but rather than give you a blow by blow of how I think I performed or how I worked the incredibly drunk and disorderly audience member right into the show’s primary theme by getting him drunker with a strong Svedka martini, I’ll cut to the chase and tell you what you really want to know:  did the 3 audience volunteers contact anyone cool on the Ouija Board in the Blue Grotto’s Entrance to Hell room at the show’s climax?

Here is a transcript of their session:

QUESTIONER: What is your name?

SPIRIT (or subconscious ideomotor impulse depending on your beliefs): FRA

QUESTIONER: Are those your initials?

SPIRIT: YES

JEFF:  Okay, that’s definitely not who we’re looking for but why don’t you chat with them anyway.

QUESTIONER: Do you know that you’re part of a show?

SPIRIT: YES

QUESTIONER: Any advice for Jeff for his show?

SPIRIT: MORE JAM

(note: there is music in my show, so I guess FRA wanted more of it;  or they wanted more jelly)

QUESTIONER: Do you live in the CEC building?

SPIRIT: YES

QUESTIONER: Are you human?

SPIRIT: YES

QUESTIONER:  What year did you die?

(no answer, the planchette just wandered; a common response for earthbound spirits who don’t realize yet that they’re dead–or don’t want to realize it)

QUESTIONER: Okay, then when were you born?

SPIRIT:  1873

QUESTIONER:  Any advice for us about how to live, how to die, or how to navigate the afterlife?

SPIRIT: LALALALA

(?! no idea; we were stumped by this one; maybe FRA was putting its fingers in its ears and singing so that it couldn’t hear our question? maybe it was telling us just to sing our way through it (it did ask for “more jam” after all). Or maybe it was telling us to go to LA)

QUESTIONER: Are you in the room with us?

SPIRIT: YES

QUESTIONER:  Do you know what’s taped to back of Jeff’s relative’s grave photo hanging in the Blue Grotto?

SPIRIT: NO

Well, the Ouija session was fun but I still didn’t get what I came for, so I had to end the show with the nuclear option.  Come tonight and find out what that means.  Full details and ticket info.