Ouija Log – 9/14/11

OH. No wonder we were confused. I started out wanting to tell you how uneventful the Ouija session was last night. We had an erascible sort. Lots of apparent gibberish and lots of NOs. As one of the Ouija volunteers said, you could just see this angry old man shaking his cane at us saying, “get out of my yard!” In short it was like this: can you tell us your name? NO. Do you know you’re in a show? NO. Do you have any advice for Jeff? NO. Do you know the other spirits we’ve contacted so far with this show? YES. Can we talk to one of them instead of you? NO. Do you know what’s taped to the back of the grave photo? NO.

The only solid thing we got was when we asked for its name and it spelled out NAMAZ over and over. As I said to the volunteers this was either gibberish or a foreign language so we may as well hang it up…So then I get home and Google NAMAZ and find out it’s Arabic for “pray” or “prayer,” as in Namaz-e-tawbah, a Muslim prayer meaning Prayer of Repentance. I think it was trying to tell us something, like stop trying to contact the dead…

Powerful stuff but I was once again left unfulfilled because You Know Who didn’t bother making an appearance and I was again left with only the nuclear option. Only 3 shows left… Full details and ticket info here.

OH. No wonder we were confused. It was speaking Arabic (or Hindi or Urdu). I started out wanting to tell you how uneventful the Ouija session was last night. We had an erascible sort.  Lots of apparent gibberish and lots of NOs.  As one of the Ouija volunteers said, you could just see this angry old man shaking his cane at us saying,  “Get out of my yard!”  But in short it was telling us to stop trying to contact the dead and go pray.

The transcript ran about like this: can you tell us your name? NO.  Do you know you’re in a show? NO. Do you have any advice for Jeff? NO.   Do you know the other spirits we’ve contacted so far with this show? YES. Can we talk to one of them instead of you? NO.   Can you tell us where you are? NO. Do you know what’s taped to the back of the grave photo? NO.

And in between all of the negativity it just kept saying NAMAZ over and over.  As I said to the volunteers this was either gibberish or a foreign language so we may as well hang it up…

So then I get home and Google NAMAZ and find out it’s Arabic (also Hindi and Urdu) for “pray,”  as in Namaz-e-tawbah, a Muslim prayer meaning Prayer of Repentance.  I think it was trying to tell us something… Now I wish I could remember some of the other “gibberish” it was telling us because it probably meant something, too.

Powerful stuff but I was once again left unfulfilled because You Don’t Know Who didn’t bother making an appearance and I was again left with only the nuclear option. Only 3 shows left… Full details and ticket info here.

Ouija Log – 9/10

BEST OUIJA SESSION EVER. Last night was intense. A packed house of enthusiastic Fringe goers provided no shortage of folks eager to get in on the act. I was also flattered and surprised that 2 of my former NYU Tisch students from 4 years previous made the trek, one driving all the way down to Philly from Cambridge, MA where he is now in a graduate Voodoo program at Harvard. I met with them and their friend for a quick drink at a UPenn/Drexel hangout afterward not far from the Blue Grotto.

Suffice it to say, hands shot up when I asked for 3 volunteers and got them rolling on the Ouija board at the show’s climax. The Ouija session was the most intense so far, with a unique and active personality at work. The session could have gone on much longer but alas we had to break it off and bring the show in for a landing. Here’s the transcript. The questioner here is a split between myself and an outstanding audience volunteer named R.

QUESTIONER: What’s your name?

SPIRIT (or subconscious ideomotor impulse depending on your beliefs): DAVID

QUESTIONER: When were you born?

SPIRIT: 1976

QUESTIONER: Do you know you’re part of a show?

SPIRIT: NO.

QUESTIONER (Jeff): It was R.’s idea.

SPIRIT: WHY?

QUESTIONER: We’re just seeking enlightenment tonight about our lives and about what happens where you are. Where are you now?

SPIRIT: LOS ANGELES

QUESTIONER: Do you know anyone in the room tonight?

SPIRIT: YES.

QUESTIONER: Who?

SPIRIT: PEOPL

QUESTIONER (Jeff): Cute answer. We do have a roomful of people here. I hate to break this off but we need to sadly wrap this up and continue the show. Maybe a fews will want to come back and chat with you more in a few minutes when we’re done. Final question: do you know what’s taped to the back of the grave photo hanging in the other room?

SPIRIT: YES

(Let me point out that this was a first. For the past 3 nights in a row since the show opened the response to this question was NO. I was caught off guard by this seemingly miraculous answer and remained skeptical.)

QUESTIONER (Jeff): You do? Okay, what is it?

SPIRIT: HOME.

(This actually put a lump in my throat and brought a tear to my eye. It gave me pause. It was an astute, even clever answer.)

QUESTIONER (Jeff): (long pause) That’s extremely close. It’s not literally that but HOME is a really special, poetic way of putting it. That’s really smart is, underneath, correct.

SPIRIT: VERY

QUESTIONER (Jeff): Big round of applause for David.

BEST OUIJA SESSION EVER. Last night was intense. A packed house of enthusiastic Fringe goers provided no shortage of folks eager to get in on the act. I was also flattered and surprised that 2 of my former NYU Tisch students from 4 years previous made the trek, one driving all the way down to Philly from Cambridge, MA where he is now in a graduate Voodoo program at Harvard.  I met with them and their friend for a quick drink at a UPenn/Drexel hangout afterward not far from the Blue Grotto.

Suffice it to say, hands shot up when I asked for 3 volunteers and got them rolling on the Ouija board at the show’s climax.  The Ouija session was the most intense so far, with a unique and active personality at work. The session could have gone on much longer but alas we had to break it off and bring the show in for a landing.  Here’s the transcript. The questioner here is a split between myself and an outstanding audience volunteer named R.

QUESTIONER: What’s your name?

SPIRIT (or subconscious ideomotor impulse depending on your beliefs):  DAVID

QUESTIONER:  When were you born?

SPIRIT: 1976

QUESTIONER:  Do you know you’re part of a show?

SPIRIT: NO

QUESTIONER (Jeff): It was R.’s idea.

SPIRIT: WHY

QUESTIONER: We’re just seeking enlightenment tonight about our lives and about what happens where you are. Where are you now?

SPIRIT:  LOS ANGELES

(A clever play on words? He’s with “the angels.”)

QUESTIONER:  Do you know anyone in the room tonight?

SPIRIT: YES

QUESTIONER: Who?

SPIRIT: PEOPL

QUESTIONER (Jeff):  Cute answer. We do have a roomful of people here.  I hate to break this off but we need to sadly wrap this up and continue the show. Maybe a few will want to come back and chat with you more in a few minutes when we’re done.  Final question:  do you know what’s taped to the back of the grave photo hanging in the other room?

SPIRIT:  YES

(Let me point out that this was a first.  For the past 3 nights in a row since the show opened the response to this question was NO. I was caught off guard by this seemingly miraculous answer and remained skeptical.)

QUESTIONER (Jeff): You do?  Okay, what is it?

SPIRIT:  HOME

(This actually put a lump in my throat and brought a tear to my eye. It gave me pause.  It was an astute, even clever answer.)

QUESTIONER (Jeff): (long pause) That’s extremely close. It’s not literally that but ‘home’ is a really special, poetic way of putting it. It is, underneath, correct.


SPIRIT: VERY

Ouija Log – 9/9

Reminder that tonight is Paranormal Psaturday. The first three ticket holders to show Jeff a convincing photograph or smartphone video clip of authentic-looking paranormal activity in their homes will be given a $10.00 Starbucks gift certificate. The other usual prizes will again be given out randomly, including a free inept dream interpretation session with Jeffrey Stanley, and, if you believe your is haunted, a free in-home ouija board session. I am magnet for ghosts, angels and demons so if they’re there I’ll be able to chat them up. DISCLAIMER: please note that I am not an exorcist. Spirits may remain in your home and may become pissed. Objects may spontaneously catch fire and pets may become temporarily possessed. Tickets and full details.

My Entrance to Hell at the Blue Grotto.

There was a lot of static on the lines last night. We couldn’t get much of anything from the Ouija board — and especially not That Person — despite switching volunteers. The most we got was MOWNLALN. And it went to the number 8 a lot. If this means anything to anyone let me know.

If you really want to squeeze out an interpretation we can say it was trying to spell MOWN LAWN which had happened an hour earlier upstairs at exactly 8:00pm. That’s precisely when it ended in order to not disturb my show. And for what it’s worth artist and Blue Grotto creator Randy Dalton had “mown” it.

So maybe the spirit was showing off that it indeed lives at the CEC the way FRA said s/he did in the first Ouija session on 9/7 (transcript) by saying “the lawn had been mown by 8.”  Maybe that was supposed to impress or frighten us but if so, it failed.  Well, let’s see you try and interpret a bunch of gibberish.

Post-crypt: One of the two Ouija volunteers has posted on Facebook that, “My lawn was just mown, and guess how many times I had to empty the bag? That’s right, 8. Coincidence? You be the judge.”

Post Post-crypt: Reminder that tonight is Paranormal Psaturday. The first three ticket holders to show me a convincing photograph or smartphone video clip of authentic-looking paranormal activity in their homes will be given a $10.00 Starbucks gift certificate.  The other usual prizes will again be given out randomly, including a free inept dream interpretation session with me, and, if you believe your is haunted, a free in-home ouija board session. I am magnet for ghosts, angels and demons so if they’re there I’ll be able to chat them up. DISCLAIMER: please note that I am not an exorcist. Spirits may remain in your home and may become pissed. Objects may spontaneously catch fire and pets may become temporarily possessed. Tickets and full details.
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