Why is this man making a hand-rabbit? Scroll down to find out.
If you missed my interview last night with the masterful Tina Brock of theIRC and would like to hear more about my mis/adventures in India, my work as a Fulbright Scholar and the nonfiction book I’m currently finishing, along with Tesla, ghosts, paan, religion, David Ives, and a few other surprises, you can catch it here on the IRC’s youtube channel:
I was delighted last night to hear again from spirit MALA during our Ouija session that was part of my Plays & Players playwright-in-residence presentation. I began with a little shtick I wrote just for the occasion, then called for volunteers, BZ:ABOTD-style, and moved us all across the threshold from the Skinner Studio stage into Quig’s Pub where we all stood around a table watching the two volunteers try their hands at my antique William Fuld original Ouija board. Our goal was to contact one of the theatre’s 3 resident ghosts.
At first, lots of jibberish despite multiple partners and switch-offs and trying to get the board warmed up. There were a few early highlights, like my asking, “Look, is there anyone there who just wants to cut the jibberish and talk to us in plain English using simple words?”
The response was a swift NO.
At one point it blurted out OZ which got lots of oohs and aahs. Later one of the volunteers emailed me that she got home and flipped on the TV only to see that The Wizard of Oz was indeed on that night.
But whenever it was my turn to switch in with a partner it shot back and forth from M to A to L to A to M to A, sweeping a wide arc back and forth across the board nonstop. It wouldn’t answer any other questions. It was, like, in this catatonic state. I’d get up and let a new partner take over, but 10 minutes later when it was my turn again it’d shoot back to M A L A M A L A. As obvious as it seems now (duh) I kept guessing at names…”Are you Mama?…Alam? … Lala?”
Thankfully someone chimed in, “My guess is it’s a child.”
“Are you a child?” I asked the board. At that she finally stopped the chant and went to YES.
“You’ve been trying to talk to me all night. Do you know me?”
(to the crowd) “This is a little girl I met during my show. She was killed by her mother. (to Mala) You followed me here from the Blue Grotto to Plays & Players?”
YES
“Are you in the room with us?”
YES NO YES NO YES NO (this indecision was also evident during her previous sessionwith me; the personality and her reluctance or uncertainty with her state seemed consistent, as did her childlike repetitions of “MalaMalaMalaMala” and previously “MomMomMomMom” for emphasis)
“Your mother killed you, right?”
YES NO YES NO YES NO
(In our previous conversation on 9/15/11 her discomfort with discussing the details of her death (stabbed by her mother) and her insistence that she has forgiven her, felt consistent again with her current indecisive answers. Previously her discomfort was indicated by the constant use of the infinity sign when she wasn’t sure how to answer; tonight it was the YES NO YES NO maneuver.)
I got tired of monopolizing the board so I stepped away for a slice of pizza while two others continued the chat. I told them Mala was a lonely little girl who meant no harm and to chat with her for a few minutes. I’m not sure of the outcome but I know their chat with her was brief because the board was soon abandoned. People kept admiring it and discussing it but no one would dare to use it. I offered to use it with someone but no one would take me up on it. Everyone seemed too spooked by the Mala thing.
So, not exactly an earth-shattering session but a good experience overall and I was happy to chat with my otherworldly pal Mala again. Most disappointingly no contact was made by any of Plays & Players’ supposed ghosts. Maybe they’re just a legend…
The closing night show was so overwhelming it’s taken me an extra day to calm down enough to write about the Ouija session with some clarity. After 7 evenings of supernatural dissatisfaction for me personally during the brief run of the show and having to close every evening using the nuclear option I was about ready to give up on the spirit world as being able to reach out directly to anyone.
Enter M.
M. was an eager audience member in the final show who joined in with audience volunteer S. to person the Ouija board. They were escorted away and left alone for awhile as usual to try their hands at the board, reaching out to the netherworld in the Hell Room before I returned with the rest of the audience to rejoin them and see if they’d tuned into anything. Here is the main highlight that left us all haunted, especially M:
QUESTIONER (M) (to Jeff): I’m really freaked out right now. I have goose bumps and my hair’s standing on end.
JEFF: That’s normal when you’ve brought someone into the room. Something’s here with us. Do you want to quit?
M: No. I’m just letting you know that I’m freaked. My hands are shaking, I’m afraid I’ll mess up with the planchette.
JEFF: Why don’t you stop? I can take your place.
M: No, I want to keep going.
JEFF (to Ouija board): What’s your name?
SPIRIT (or subconscious ideomotor impulse depending on your beliefs): KHEF
JEFF: Khef? I bet that turns out to be Arabic or Hindi (why I thought so). I’ve seen a lot this week so let’s assume it’s a real language and not gibberish. Are you Khef?
SPIRIT: NO
JEFF: Oh. Well, do you know what’s taped to the back of the grave photo?
SPIRIT: NO
M: Do you know anyone here?
SPIRIT: YES
M: Who?
SPIRIT: M—- (spelling out M’s name)
M: Oh wow. Do you want to tell me something?
At that the planchette shot down at breakneck speed to GOODBYE and refused to budge for anyone. Game over. We ended the session and all returned to the Blue Grotto and I wrapped up the show as usual, using the nuclear option — a personal disappointment for me but a fun way to end a show about Ouija boards.
Afterward M. stuck around as I began to strike the set for the last time, eager to talk to me at length about her first mind-blowing experience on a Ouija board this evening. She needed to unburden herself; I’ve been there, I know what that’s like so I stopped my work and listened. She was highly unsettled. She explained to me that she’s Jewish and said that in the Jewish tradition it’s strictly forbidden to contact the dead. I asked why she did it and — bless her heart — she said she did it to help me find the closure that I need. That was selfless of her but I hated that the experience had left her freaked out. In the end it’s only a show and not worth the trauma.
She said she has immediate ancestors who died tortuous deaths in the Holocaust and that she’d always been afraid to think about how they’d perished. Facing their cruel fate is her worst nightmare, and the thought of hearing directly from them about how they suffered has always been more than she could bear.
“Maybe it appeared to let you know they’re there, but went to Goodbye so quickly to avoid having to tell you what it knows you don’t want to hear, ” I suggested, “to spare you the pain.”
M: That’s exactly what it did. That’s what I’m telling you.
Then I get home and find out that KHEF isn’t Arabic, Hindi or even Urdu. It’s Egyptian. It’s the name of an ancient Egyptian hieroglyph that means “to be laid waste or destroyed.” A reference to the Holocaust in our case? And this hieroglyph appears on the Israel Stele of all things, so-called by archaeologists because it’s the only ancient Egyptian document mentioning Israel by name. And if you don’t know, a stele is a monument to the dead… Yeah. You tell me.
WORST OUIJA CHAT EVER. Very little action last night. I’m not even going to bother alerting my press list on this one, especially not SR at The Daily Pennsylvanian despite her colleagues’ apparent love for my show, for which we are grateful. The only highlight if you want to call it that was —
JEFF: Do you know what’s taped to the back of the grave photo?
SPIRIT: YES
JEFF: What is it?
SPIRIT: HABIB
JEFF: Um, no. There is not a “habib” taped to the back of the photo (boy was I wrong; see below). Is Habib your name?
SPIRIT: NO
Mind you I’m not touching the board during these conversations. It’s always being operated by two audience volunteers other than at a few brief times between chats when I get on the board to warm it up, if you will. I know of course that Habib is an Arabic male name but I looked up its actual meaning and it’s “beloved” or “loved one” which in that case makes it similar to the 9/10 transcript when DAVID told us that HOME was taped to the back and it put a lump in my throat.
Had I known last night that a habib was a loved one and that the board was again speaking to me in Arabic I’d have been a little less dismissive. This would mark the 4th time out of 7 sessions that a directly Islamic or at least South Asian presence has been on the board — there was also the 9/14 session when it kept telling us NAMAZ, NAMAZ (pray, pray in Arabic), then there was the South Asian 5-year-old girl named MALA on 9/15 and SHALEE on 9/8.
All fascinating but surprising because given our geographical locus I was expecting a lot of old Philadelphia Quakers with names like Rachel or Zebulon or Nehemiah or at least some Johns or Williams or Marys. Yes there was David but he died in 1976 and lives in LA so he doesn’t count.
Lesson learned: never make assumptions about the spirit world/human subconscious.
Only 1 show left and it’s tonight and it’s the final Paranormal Psaturday – the first three ticket holders to show me a convincing photograph or smartphone video clip of authentic-looking paranormal activity in their homes will be given a $10.00 Starbucks gift certificate. Full details and ticket info.
During the final days of the festival BZ:ABOTD has made UPenn’s 34St Magazine’s Must-See list, and that includes the Live Arts shows, which is extremely flattering. You haven’t seen the show yet? Only 2 chances left, and remember tonight is Freemasonry Fridays – the first three ticket holders to discretely wear their Masonic rings or other authentic Masonic logo jewelry and show it to me in secret before the show will secretly be given a $10.00 Starbucks gift certificate. Don’t try to pull a fast one— I know my Masonic jewelry.
The planchette on the Ouija board was flying all over the place last night. I mean it would shoot off the edge of the board sometimes and the volunteers would have to put it back on and reposition their fingers before it took off again like a little sportscar making hairpin turns all across the alphabet. Transcript highlights:
QUESTIONER: How old are you?
SPIRIT (or subconscious ideomotor impulse depending on your beliefs): 5 AND A HALF
QUESTIONER: What’s your name?
SPIRIT: MALA (a Hindu name meaning garland of flowers)
QUESTIONER: When did you die?
(here it just swept a broad ellipse around the board and then swooped into a sideways figure 8 pattern–the symbol for infinity–over and over again in the center of the board)
QUESTIONER: When were you born?
0…1
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Maybe she doesn’t know. She’s only 5 years old.
JEFF: Where are you now?
(infinity pattern in response)
AUDIENCE MEMBER: How did you die?
SPIRIT: MOM
AUDIENCE MEMBER: How did she kill you?
(infinity pattern)
QUESTIONER: Do you resent her for it?
SPIRIT: NO
JEFF: Are you in the room with us?
SPIRIT: YES
JEFF: Where are you standing in relation to me?
SPIRIT: LEFT
JEFF: (indicating with hand) Right here?
(infinity pattern)
QUESTIONER: She’s everywhere in the room.
JEFF: Do you know anyone here?
SPIRIT: NO
JEFF: Do you know what’s taped to the back of the grave photo hanging in the other room?
SPIRIT: YES
JEFF: Okay, what is it?
MNMNMNMN (which we took to mean “mmmm…”, thinking)
JEFF: (to audience) Remember she’s only 5. (to spirit) It’s okay if you don’t know.
During the final days of the festival BZ:ABOTD has made the Daily Pennsylvanian’s Must-See list, and that includes the curated Live Arts shows, which is extremely flattering. You haven’t seen the show yet? Only 2 chances left, and remember tonight is Freemasonry Fridays – the first three ticket holders to discretely wear their Masonic rings or other authentic Masonic logo jewelry and show it to me in secret before the show will secretly be given a $10.00 Starbucks gift certificate. Don’t try to pull a fast one— I know my Masonic jewelry.
The planchette on the Ouija board was flying all over the place last night. I mean it would shoot off the edge of the board sometimes and the volunteers would have to put it back on and reposition their fingers before it took off again like a little sportscar making hairpin turns all across the alphabet. Transcript highlights:
QUESTIONER: How old are you?
SPIRIT (or subconscious ideomotor impulse depending on your beliefs): 5 AND A HALF
QUESTIONER: What’s your name?
SPIRIT: MALA (turns out it’s a Hindu name meaning garland of flowers)
QUESTIONER: When did you die?
(here it swept a broad ellipse around the board and then swooped into a sideways figure 8 pattern — the symbol for infinity — over and over again in the center of the board)
QUESTIONER: When were you born?
SPIRIT: 0…1
JEFF: Maybe she doesn’t know the year. She’s only 5 years old. Where are you now?
(infinity pattern in response)
AUDIENCE MEMBER: How did you die?
SPIRIT: MOM MOM MOM MOM
AUDIENCE MEMBER: How did she kill you?
(infinity pattern)
QUESTIONER: Do you resent her for it?
SPIRIT: NO
JEFF: Are you in the room with us?
SPIRIT: YES
JEFF: Where are you standing in relation to me?
SPIRIT: LEFT
JEFF: (indicating with hand) Right here?
(back to the infinity pattern)
QUESTIONER: She’s everywhere in the room.
JEFF: Do you know anyone here?
SPIRIT: NO
JEFF: Do you live here at the CEC?
SPIRIT: YES
JEFF: Do you know any of the other spirits we’ve talked to throughout the run of the show who also say they live here?